Sitting at my desk, feeling tender, writing from my heart. A half unpacked suitcase sits nearby from a week ago. The house I tidied spotlessly (rare event) before Christmas now has piles of paper and life residue everywhere.
Feeling tender and writing from that place. It feels important, like in the time out from schedules and deadlines I’ve tapped back into that precious thing inside me that wants to create and help others do the same.
Meanwhile, my website’s crashing, admin from my client work is piling up, a throat infection is slowing me down, my new year’s ideas to hire a coach or get some marketing help have faded to the background and then a surprising thing happened.
I had a sense that I could trust the universe to hold space for me a while, that a larger consciousness had my back on this, that I could let go into something for a moment.
It’s a long time since I felt that way.
There was a younger time in my spiritual journey when I was full of talk about letting go and trusting the universe and saw it through naïve maiden’s eyes. Life has led me on a merry dance since then, to a point where all I could trust was the moment, a spark of light inside my heart and it’s connection with light outside. That expanded to a trust of my breath and the sense of breathing in and out with the universe as a whole.
But this sense, this practical sense, that the universe has my back on the detail and the big picture and just do what you can, what you’re most feeling for the moment, well that feels good. Is it a new energy for 2014 I wonder?
Who or what can you trust in? How has your sense of what trust means evolved?
It was great just now, to get the visceral reminder that I am part of a larger whole and there is some holding in that.
My tips for strengthening your sense of trust:
- Listen to your feelings, needs and desires and honour them, the best way you can in each moment.[spacer]
- When it feels hard to trust, bring it back in close to what you do trust. Keep your awareness there, allow the feeling of that to grow through your body and to infuse your thoughts and day-dreams.[spacer]
- Act from this place. The acting on it part is important, it’s the embodiment of self-trust.
