What does nature want for you?

A different kind of blog today.  Some pictures taken on a roadtrip inland, back from Sydney.  I had been visiting my Mum in a nursing home, her Dementia rapidly advancing.  Such special and emotional time, in a relationship that had been, well, frankly, fraught.

The trip took forever, but the landscape had something for me.

 

Miles in to miles.

 

Me and the road and the boulders.

It was an aching drive and an opening drive.

A stupidly long and boring drive.

 

More and more distance between Mum and I, yet how big she is in my heart along the lines of rust metal fences, broken down road and yellow wild flowers.

 

Slowing for each small town, a pub or a church, and letting the big country get inside, open the walls, let the breath get big. Surreal. Crazy tired. Slightly dissociated.

 

White flowers now, like fields of snow under the parched sun.

 

Past Armidale with memories of stories from Dad and his travels and onward north, to the boulders that split my heart, big from the ground, pouring the love from me and meeting it strong. Safe. Pink glow, late sun.

 

This country is in me. It’s here for me when nothing else is. It fills the spaces inside me and loves me.

 

Living tender

Modern life.  So much rush.  So much pace.  So much surface.

Tenderness can seem a luxury.  Something for another time or someone else or a special scene in a movie.

How much do you allow tenderness to move you if it happens?  You’ve really got to be ready for it, to notice and soften and receive it with your whole heart.  Let your heart go big with it.

How much tenderness do you show yourself – your tired feet, your thirst, the crick in your neck, the ache in your heart?

Practice being tender with someone near and dear.  Do it consciously.  Step outside of a pattern of logistics or being right and offer up some seeing and some tender.  Notice what happens.

Big things grow from tender places.  The way we care for tender parts determines what grows.  Get the coding right in the small whisper of hope or yearning or hurt or longing.  Listen in.  Offer a little of what’s needed.  Watch beauty grow in your life.

Living tender

So much in so little.

Transparent.

Amber heartbeat.

It’s lived through so much, been worn and washed and tossed up here and there.

Deep down below the currents, in the cold, dark, wet place, aonic whisper of something more, of warmth, of glow, of being heated through with a love that doesn’t go anywhere and cannot be escaped.

Transparent,

Pretence washed.

Trying washed.

Even hopes and dreams washed.

Transparent, but far from brittle.

Transparent, amping the sunlight through curls that see because they know; that touch gently in to tend the hurt, touch the untouchable, with such delicately filtered love.

Tiny part of the whole of the sun.  So needed right here and right now.

Extended, reaching out from the anonymity of the dark stem.

So far out.

And so beautiful in that fragile reach, at once so tender and time-worn.  Reaching into places barely there but yearning to be seen and held and fuse with the golden burn of the orb.

Burning on.  Burning through.

Flying hammocks; lifted, lighted by a breeze.  Strong in their place, in their part of it all.

by Deborah Jackson

 

 

 

 

Party in the sky

Glimmer, shimmer
Lying in wait.

Who knew what was there as the cars drove past.

Party in the sky,
As sunlight fills past full to festival,
and unbound sheafs tip their hats to tiny rounds
that pack a punch.
That laugh and dance and tease their luminosity.

Are you ready for me?

What do you really look like?

Ever watched a child play and felt your heart open, a smile catch you unawares as you see the beauty in their absorption in life, whether it be the ice-cream, their sadness or the kite in the sky (hey, I love how kites have become cool again for a whole new generation!).

And as you observe like this, do they each look beautiful in their different sizes, shapes and colours?  Have you ever looked like this at your girlfriends around the table, feeling yourself glow and your heart warm as you take in and take your place amongst the beauty of each of them, knowing something of their journey, their battle-scars, their heart?

Have you ever looked at yourself the same way, in the mirror, taking it all in, seeing and loving the stories behind the extra weight, the strange bend in your nose or the emerging wrinkles?

I have.

Now I have spent as much time as the next woman in front of the mirror, sucking in my tummy or taking selfies with the camera held high so I look younger than my years with no double chin.  This week a client, who is also a photographer, asked me if I would feel embarrassed if she shot me as I was, in that moment, in the session and I could honestly say “no, not embarrassed”.  Kylie went on to explain how she would shoot me to smooth out my muffin tops and disappear the extra chin and yes, I would be grateful for her careful eye, should I be having professional shots taken…

Back on point.

I spent a decade or two managing around a chronic illness, oftentimes watching sadly as the world went by without me, spending days in bed to work up to or recover from an outing into the real world. So yes, now I am so grateful for all my body brings me – the movement through the world and the joyful movement of energy within it.  When I’m in touch with this, with life, with my breath and my heart, I look in the mirror and see so much light it warms me, makes me smile and lights me further.

Try it.

body love

Close your eyes and begin to settle into the rhythm of your breath through your body.  Stay with it for at least three breath cycles.  Gradually focus on the area in the centre of your chest, breathing in and out of your heart centre.  Think about how you touched someone in a good way this week, this year and how someone else’s kindness affected you.  Relax, settle, make time for this.

Take stock of your top three character strengths – perhaps your resilience, your creativity, your caring nature, and be in touch with these qualities as you breathe in and out of your heart centre.  Should a smile or a laugh creep up on you, let it be!  Now slowly open your eyes and look in the mirror.

What do you see?  Can you see your inner light shining?  See yourself as your loving friends do, the beauty that has nothing to do with lip gloss, hair colour and exercise classes?

Write down what you love most about your natural beauty, how it feels to notice it, what it puts you in touch with.  Challenge a friend to do the same.  Write to us and tell us about it.

Now finally … WATCH THIS VIDEO … guaranteed to move you. A forensic artist draws a woman described by two different people …

Deborah Jackson

Psychologist and Dream-Catcher.

I listen, reflect and set up experiences for you to move through stress and stuckness into the power, wisdom and vitality of your true self – and move with it, create from it.  Gold Coast based, Skype sessions available.  Call on 0423 167 376, see more at www.djpsych.com.au or find Deborah Jackson Psychology on Facebook.

Book a session or inquire here.